Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Weight Check
Today Logan had his weight check to make sure nursing was going well. Turns out Little Man is a porker--he is up to 7lbs 13oz! So I'll stop worrying about whether he's getting enough and start worrying that he won't have a chance to wear all of his newborn clothes! Here's a picture of him from this morning.
Monday, March 11, 2013
The Best Laid Plans...
This week was supposed to be my last week at work. It was going to work out perfectly - Fulton has a teacher workday on Friday, so I was hoping to meet with my long term sub and go over where my kids had left off, etc. They were all going to be finishing up a unit this week (or last) and I was going to have my grading completed and in the books, with everything all nicely and neatly laid out on my desk and ready to go. Well... we all know how that worked out! Logan had other plans, and while it took me a bit to accept that, it has worked out nicely - just maybe not as neatly as planned.
This past week has gone pretty well considering he's home and we're finally like new parents. He had his first pediatrician visit last Monday and received an A+! That's my boy! If he is capable of A's in life, A's are what I expect. But B's and C's will be ok (at least I try to tell myself that I will be ok with those for my children). Anyways, the pediatrician's scale had him at 7lbs! That was quite a jump over his first weekend home (of course, the scales probably are a little off)...
I asked the pediatrician about supplementing after breastfeeding and when I could start switching from bottle feedings to nursing. She said that if Logan looks satisfied and has the requisite 6-8 wet/dirty diapers a day, then I could discontinue supplementing! That was great news for me! I had found that because I was supplementing him and then pumping after nursing, I would cut his nursing times short. Now I could just let him nurse to his heart's content. I also decided to stop pumping after nursing because I didn't need an oversupply of milk, and EBF moms (exclusively breast feeding) don't pump after they nurse, so why should I? She also said that I could start gradually removing a bottle feeding and adding in a breast feeding. I decided that I would start with his noon feeding this past Thursday, and if that went well, then switch over his midnight feeding this past Sunday. Well, now that I am mostly breast feeding, we no longer have a schedule, except for his 6:00pm and 6:00am bottle feedings, which Jesse does. I now feed Logan on demand. I think he may be going through a growth spurt, too, because yesterday I felt like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Logan has a weight check on Wednesday, so if that goes well, then I will dump his 6:00pm bottle feeding. Jesse and I decided to keep his 6:00am bottle feeding for multiple reasons:
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This past week has gone pretty well considering he's home and we're finally like new parents. He had his first pediatrician visit last Monday and received an A+! That's my boy! If he is capable of A's in life, A's are what I expect. But B's and C's will be ok (at least I try to tell myself that I will be ok with those for my children). Anyways, the pediatrician's scale had him at 7lbs! That was quite a jump over his first weekend home (of course, the scales probably are a little off)...
I asked the pediatrician about supplementing after breastfeeding and when I could start switching from bottle feedings to nursing. She said that if Logan looks satisfied and has the requisite 6-8 wet/dirty diapers a day, then I could discontinue supplementing! That was great news for me! I had found that because I was supplementing him and then pumping after nursing, I would cut his nursing times short. Now I could just let him nurse to his heart's content. I also decided to stop pumping after nursing because I didn't need an oversupply of milk, and EBF moms (exclusively breast feeding) don't pump after they nurse, so why should I? She also said that I could start gradually removing a bottle feeding and adding in a breast feeding. I decided that I would start with his noon feeding this past Thursday, and if that went well, then switch over his midnight feeding this past Sunday. Well, now that I am mostly breast feeding, we no longer have a schedule, except for his 6:00pm and 6:00am bottle feedings, which Jesse does. I now feed Logan on demand. I think he may be going through a growth spurt, too, because yesterday I felt like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Logan has a weight check on Wednesday, so if that goes well, then I will dump his 6:00pm bottle feeding. Jesse and I decided to keep his 6:00am bottle feeding for multiple reasons:
- We decided he doesn't need to forget how to take a bottle before I go back to work, since he will be taking several a day when that happens.
- Jesse likes the bonding experience with Little Man.
- It forces Jesse to wake up on time. :)
- It will help out my schedule when I go back to work.
- Right now I get to have a little extra sleep since I don't have to feed him that one time a day.
Last week Logan had lots of visitors. He finally got to meet his great-grandmother Wade! I have a feeling he's just going to love her. He also met his "Aunt" Lori and my mom finally got to hold him (as did a bunch of other people!). And his "uncle" Jason and Gruncle Steve and Graunt Deb. Sorry if I left someone out! Today he is going to meet his Aunt Hannah who was down from Washington, DC, for her brother and sister-in-law's baby shower this past weekend.
Jesse went back to work this past Wednesday. He's been such a big help, though, doing things around the house. He's been putting stuff together, cleaning the house, helping keep it clean (because I'm horrible at that - just ask anyone who has lived with me), and hanging out with Logan while I get some sleep.
I've been hanging in there. Logan, for the most part, has slept well in his cradle in his room. He has some nights where he wakes up fussy a lot more than others, but now that he's not on a feeding schedule, I just nurse him back to sleep (he falls asleep and stays asleep maybe 70% of the time). There have been a few nights where he hasn't done this and I've ended up sleeping later in the day when he does, but so far so good. I'm not expecting this to last so that I don't get my hopes up, but I sure hope he continues to sleep well enough like this! He is also nursing much better! I can't ever quite tell how much he's getting, though. Sometimes he nurses for 20 minutes and is done, sometimes 40 minutes, this morning he nursed for an hour! Of course, it's not like he's eating the entire time.
The pets are slowly adjusting, too. As mentioned, we're trying to give them tons of attention, so they don't associate Logan with bad things and then take it out on him or something like that. I cuddle Yoda when Logan is asleep in his room, or carry the cats around. Both Mozart and George have shared my lap with Logan while I nursed him. We let them come into his room when we are in there so they can sniff around and such. Of course, Yoda is afraid of the space heater and the car seat, so he doesn't come in often. With the weather getting nicer and me adjusting more and more, I may see about taking Yoda and Logan for a walk. Plus, I want to start getting back in shape. It will be slow going, I have to take it easy on my abs because of diastasis recti (look it up if you're really interested), but I may join a gym for the first time in my life. That means I will have to figure out what to do with the Little Man when I do start going.
Anyways, I will leave you with some pictures of Logan!
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Thursday, March 7, 2013
Yoda and the Pets
Dear Friends and Family,
When you come over to meet Logan, please make sure to greet Yoda before rushing over to see Little Man. Logan doesn't care if you are here to see him, but Yoda does. And even though we have Logan, Yoda (and the cats) are still just as much a part of our family. We haven't thrown them over for Logan, so you shouldn't either. I'm not trying to be harsh, but the animals are sensitive and are affected by the change. They have spent the past 6.5 years being our only babies. We're trying to make sure they know they are still important to us, too. But, it's not always easy since Logan does require more attention than them. Poor Mr. Cat must be feeling upset, he knocked over a cookie jar and broke it all over our kitchen floor the other night. Georgie Cat has been extra-cuddly with me, and Little Fred has looked a little dejected. So please, remember our animals are our babies, too. We haven't forgotten, so neither should you.
Thank you very much,
Sarah & Jesse
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When you come over to meet Logan, please make sure to greet Yoda before rushing over to see Little Man. Logan doesn't care if you are here to see him, but Yoda does. And even though we have Logan, Yoda (and the cats) are still just as much a part of our family. We haven't thrown them over for Logan, so you shouldn't either. I'm not trying to be harsh, but the animals are sensitive and are affected by the change. They have spent the past 6.5 years being our only babies. We're trying to make sure they know they are still important to us, too. But, it's not always easy since Logan does require more attention than them. Poor Mr. Cat must be feeling upset, he knocked over a cookie jar and broke it all over our kitchen floor the other night. Georgie Cat has been extra-cuddly with me, and Little Fred has looked a little dejected. So please, remember our animals are our babies, too. We haven't forgotten, so neither should you.
Thank you very much,
Sarah & Jesse
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Sunday, March 3, 2013
Rollercoaster
Sorry for the delay, but as the title implies, this past week or so has been a rollercoaster for us.
Two Fridays ago Jesse and I went up to the NICU together one he got off of work. While we were there, the nurse mentioned, "Oh, Logan should be going home Sunday or Monday." This is all Jesse and I could think, "!" He had just been upped to 7-8 bottles! We knew it would be sometime the next week, we just didn't think it would be that early. Plus, we hadn't done the carseat test (really, Angle Tolerance Test). We hadn't set up Logan's room (we had been planning on doing that Sunday) and there were still things we needed to get for him. We decided to wait and see what the Nurse Practitioner had to say on Saturday before we completely panicked.
Saturday I had my last baby shower with Jesse's dad's side of the family. I planned to see Logan after the shower and then head home. Jesse was going to go up and see him while I was at the shower, then go spend the evening with the Wades to celebrate his sister's birthday. While at the shower (which was very beautiful and wonderful), the NP called and said Logan was ready to go home the next day. That put me in all out panic mode, I had been hoping that it would be Monday so we could spend Sunday setting up Logan's room. I called Jesse and told him we weren't getting any sleep that night.
Sidebar: the reason we needed to set up his room is because we had just put every present we had received in the center of the floor. There were things still in boxes, the furniture not where it was supposed to be, and I still needed to wipe down the rest of the walls from the dust of getting new floors.
So I got home from feeding Logan around 8:00-ish. Jesse went to his dad's, but stopped to pick up the glider at Babies R Us (that was the one thing we both REALLY wanted and felt we probably needed). I started working on Logan's room and when Jesse got home he helped. I ended up going to sleep around 3:00am and Jesse around 5:00am. We got up early so we could finish getting what we needed at Babies R Us and then head over to the hospital. We had to be there by 11:30 because I had a lactation consultation. Well, we got there and were just balls of nerves. We were so not ready for Little Man to come home. We definitely wanted him there, but mentally, we hadn't had time to prepare. I settled into a chair and prepared to nurse Logan after discussing some things with the lactation consultant. Logan started nursing, all was going well, and then, "ding! ding! ding!" He started to have an episode. I pulled him off and we watched him recover, but it was enough that the nurse had to report it to the nurse practitioner and doctor. We knew what that meant, Little Man wasn't coming home after all... :(
The nurse practitioner came in and said that she wanted me to spend a night at the hospital. It's called nesting. They have a special room in the NICU for this, where parents can practice being parents, while the baby is still monitored. She really wanted me to do it that night, but I was so exhausted I knew I just needed to go home and get some sleep. She did mention that I needed to practice nursing him as much as possible, so I planned to stay at the hospital for his 5:30 feeding (his 2:30 was a bottle feeding and Jesse did that one). So after we grabbed a bite to eat for lunch and Jesse fed Logan, I took Jesse home (we actually made a side trip to Target first) and then went back to the hospital. His 5:30 feeding went great, and I planned to be at the hospital the next day for his 11:30.
Monday I was up at Northside for Logan's 11:30 feeding, and also to find out what to expect for the nesting that night. Basically, he and I would go to a room for the night and I would be responsible for all of his feedings, warming his bottles, and changing his diapers. They wanted me to record his diapers and how much he ate. The night nurse would check on him when he was up, but otherwise, he was all mine. So I went back home and packed a bag and got to the hospital around 5:00-ish. Jesse fed Logan a bottle at that time and then we went out to eat. If everything went well, he would be coming home on Tuesday!
Everything went great that night! The nurse and I bathed Little Man in the morning, and then I headed home after seeing him settled back in his room. I took a shower and headed to the hair dresser. After my hair appointment I went back to the hospital because I had another lactation consultation - this one was for discharge plans! Well, I got there and the nurse let me know that Logan had another episode that morning and she wasn't sure what that meant. I was disappointed and called Jesse to let him know. The nurse practitioner came in and gave us two options: we could stay and see how Logan does through his feedings and take him home later that night; or, let him be observed overnight and bring him home Wednesday. We opted for the latter. So instead of going home and picking up Jesse so we could bring Little Man home, I stayed up at the hospital and Jesse met me there. We fed Logan and went home after a little while.
We woke up Wednesday excited. We were so ready to have him home with us! All of those nerves from Sunday were gone, and we were just ready to be done. I went to the hospital around noon to feed Logan. When I got there, the nurse told me he'd had another episode! Once I had some time with Little Man in his room, I just cried for a little while. I was so worried about him and so disappointed. I called Jesse and let him know that Wednesday wouldn't be the day either, and that I would call him after I spoke to the nurse practitioner and knew what was going on. The nurse practitioner came in a little while later and told me that they wanted to put him back on a feeding schedule - every 3 hours. He was only having the episodes for feedings, so they wanted to see how he would do with that. If he could make it 2 days without an episode, then he could go home, so now we were looking at Friday as the earliest possible date. I went home after that because I was emotionally drained. I took a nap and did some stuff around the house. Jesse went up for Logan's 5:00 feeding and I went up for his 8:00. Before I left I asked the nurse to call me if he had anymore episodes. No more of the coming in, thinking he could go home, and being told he'd had another episode.
Thursday we went up together at 4:30. He had done great that day, so things were still looking good. He nursed well with me and then took the bottle well with Jesse. We down to the Parents of Preemies meeting, and it helped to talk about our frustration with all of the discharge dates. Friday was much the same, except the anticipation started building. The nurse practitioner called and said he'd been doing great and we were all set to be discharged. She asked me to go on and make a pediatrician appointment, so I called ours and had that set up. I drove Jesse back to work after his lunch so that we would only have one car to go up to the hospital. Then, around 4:15, I started collecting what we would need. I started to get all teary-eyed thinking of actually bringing Little Man home!
When we go to the hospital, I started to nurse him. About a minute in, he took a big gulp and choked a little. So I pulled him off and let him catch his breath. This of course triggered his monitors and caused him to have a drop in heart rate. The nurse was in there with me, so we were watching him and saw that his color stayed the same. Well, I felt my heart drop, wondering if this meant we wouldn't be able to bring him home or not. The nurse called the nurse practitioner and that talked. Fortunately, they said he was still coming home. It was all about whether or not we were comfortable, because full term babies can get choked up like that when eating. Heck, I get choked up when eating sometimes. I felt relieved that we weren't going to move his discharge date. We got everything packed up, signed papers, and then Jesse took everything out to the car. The nurse looked at me and said, "It's time." She turned off the monitors and the screen went black. I started crying as she removed his leads. I would finally get to hold my baby without wires! They had me sit in the wheelchair and handed Logan over to me. We said good bye to the NICU and his room(s) and were wheeled downstairs to meet Jesse.
I climbed out of the wheelchair with Little Man, and we got into the car. I hooked him into his car seat and started crying again. Jesse drove us home and we got to walk in the house with Little Man! We carried him together and put him in his room. I unhooked him and rocked with him while Jesse fed the animals. We then let them come in to meet Logan. They all sniffed and were mostly indifferent. Since then, things have gone pretty well. We're still adjusting to having him here and coming up with a schedule. We're trying to stick to his - every 3 hour feeding schedule. He is nursed every other feeding, then supplemented with a bottle. I still have to pump with each of his feedings, so Jesse helps me out and usually does the bottle while I pump for the non-nursing feedings. So that is extra exhausting. It would be so easy to give in and do formula, but I have to think of this as just a phase. We'll get to all nursing.
We didn't have Logan's monitors set up for his room (we got these), so Jesse made up a pallet and I slept on the floor next to his crib. He kind of slept off and on inbetween feedings. I let Jesse sleep through the night, I figured at least one of us should be able to, and I definitely couldn't. He got up for Logan's 11:00 feeding and let me nap after I pumped. He did a lot around the house and I felt recharged with about 2 more hours of sleep (I know all of you parents out there know what that's like). Last night he slept in his room and let me sleep in my room inbetween 2 feedings, so that was nice!
I'll keep posting little updates here and there on this site, but the biggest hurdle is done. Thank you so much for following our story and loving Logan and cheering for him along with us. It means so much to us!
Two Fridays ago Jesse and I went up to the NICU together one he got off of work. While we were there, the nurse mentioned, "Oh, Logan should be going home Sunday or Monday." This is all Jesse and I could think, "!" He had just been upped to 7-8 bottles! We knew it would be sometime the next week, we just didn't think it would be that early. Plus, we hadn't done the carseat test (really, Angle Tolerance Test). We hadn't set up Logan's room (we had been planning on doing that Sunday) and there were still things we needed to get for him. We decided to wait and see what the Nurse Practitioner had to say on Saturday before we completely panicked.
Saturday I had my last baby shower with Jesse's dad's side of the family. I planned to see Logan after the shower and then head home. Jesse was going to go up and see him while I was at the shower, then go spend the evening with the Wades to celebrate his sister's birthday. While at the shower (which was very beautiful and wonderful), the NP called and said Logan was ready to go home the next day. That put me in all out panic mode, I had been hoping that it would be Monday so we could spend Sunday setting up Logan's room. I called Jesse and told him we weren't getting any sleep that night.
Sidebar: the reason we needed to set up his room is because we had just put every present we had received in the center of the floor. There were things still in boxes, the furniture not where it was supposed to be, and I still needed to wipe down the rest of the walls from the dust of getting new floors.
So I got home from feeding Logan around 8:00-ish. Jesse went to his dad's, but stopped to pick up the glider at Babies R Us (that was the one thing we both REALLY wanted and felt we probably needed). I started working on Logan's room and when Jesse got home he helped. I ended up going to sleep around 3:00am and Jesse around 5:00am. We got up early so we could finish getting what we needed at Babies R Us and then head over to the hospital. We had to be there by 11:30 because I had a lactation consultation. Well, we got there and were just balls of nerves. We were so not ready for Little Man to come home. We definitely wanted him there, but mentally, we hadn't had time to prepare. I settled into a chair and prepared to nurse Logan after discussing some things with the lactation consultant. Logan started nursing, all was going well, and then, "ding! ding! ding!" He started to have an episode. I pulled him off and we watched him recover, but it was enough that the nurse had to report it to the nurse practitioner and doctor. We knew what that meant, Little Man wasn't coming home after all... :(
The nurse practitioner came in and said that she wanted me to spend a night at the hospital. It's called nesting. They have a special room in the NICU for this, where parents can practice being parents, while the baby is still monitored. She really wanted me to do it that night, but I was so exhausted I knew I just needed to go home and get some sleep. She did mention that I needed to practice nursing him as much as possible, so I planned to stay at the hospital for his 5:30 feeding (his 2:30 was a bottle feeding and Jesse did that one). So after we grabbed a bite to eat for lunch and Jesse fed Logan, I took Jesse home (we actually made a side trip to Target first) and then went back to the hospital. His 5:30 feeding went great, and I planned to be at the hospital the next day for his 11:30.
Monday I was up at Northside for Logan's 11:30 feeding, and also to find out what to expect for the nesting that night. Basically, he and I would go to a room for the night and I would be responsible for all of his feedings, warming his bottles, and changing his diapers. They wanted me to record his diapers and how much he ate. The night nurse would check on him when he was up, but otherwise, he was all mine. So I went back home and packed a bag and got to the hospital around 5:00-ish. Jesse fed Logan a bottle at that time and then we went out to eat. If everything went well, he would be coming home on Tuesday!
Everything went great that night! The nurse and I bathed Little Man in the morning, and then I headed home after seeing him settled back in his room. I took a shower and headed to the hair dresser. After my hair appointment I went back to the hospital because I had another lactation consultation - this one was for discharge plans! Well, I got there and the nurse let me know that Logan had another episode that morning and she wasn't sure what that meant. I was disappointed and called Jesse to let him know. The nurse practitioner came in and gave us two options: we could stay and see how Logan does through his feedings and take him home later that night; or, let him be observed overnight and bring him home Wednesday. We opted for the latter. So instead of going home and picking up Jesse so we could bring Little Man home, I stayed up at the hospital and Jesse met me there. We fed Logan and went home after a little while.
We woke up Wednesday excited. We were so ready to have him home with us! All of those nerves from Sunday were gone, and we were just ready to be done. I went to the hospital around noon to feed Logan. When I got there, the nurse told me he'd had another episode! Once I had some time with Little Man in his room, I just cried for a little while. I was so worried about him and so disappointed. I called Jesse and let him know that Wednesday wouldn't be the day either, and that I would call him after I spoke to the nurse practitioner and knew what was going on. The nurse practitioner came in a little while later and told me that they wanted to put him back on a feeding schedule - every 3 hours. He was only having the episodes for feedings, so they wanted to see how he would do with that. If he could make it 2 days without an episode, then he could go home, so now we were looking at Friday as the earliest possible date. I went home after that because I was emotionally drained. I took a nap and did some stuff around the house. Jesse went up for Logan's 5:00 feeding and I went up for his 8:00. Before I left I asked the nurse to call me if he had anymore episodes. No more of the coming in, thinking he could go home, and being told he'd had another episode.
Thursday we went up together at 4:30. He had done great that day, so things were still looking good. He nursed well with me and then took the bottle well with Jesse. We down to the Parents of Preemies meeting, and it helped to talk about our frustration with all of the discharge dates. Friday was much the same, except the anticipation started building. The nurse practitioner called and said he'd been doing great and we were all set to be discharged. She asked me to go on and make a pediatrician appointment, so I called ours and had that set up. I drove Jesse back to work after his lunch so that we would only have one car to go up to the hospital. Then, around 4:15, I started collecting what we would need. I started to get all teary-eyed thinking of actually bringing Little Man home!
When we go to the hospital, I started to nurse him. About a minute in, he took a big gulp and choked a little. So I pulled him off and let him catch his breath. This of course triggered his monitors and caused him to have a drop in heart rate. The nurse was in there with me, so we were watching him and saw that his color stayed the same. Well, I felt my heart drop, wondering if this meant we wouldn't be able to bring him home or not. The nurse called the nurse practitioner and that talked. Fortunately, they said he was still coming home. It was all about whether or not we were comfortable, because full term babies can get choked up like that when eating. Heck, I get choked up when eating sometimes. I felt relieved that we weren't going to move his discharge date. We got everything packed up, signed papers, and then Jesse took everything out to the car. The nurse looked at me and said, "It's time." She turned off the monitors and the screen went black. I started crying as she removed his leads. I would finally get to hold my baby without wires! They had me sit in the wheelchair and handed Logan over to me. We said good bye to the NICU and his room(s) and were wheeled downstairs to meet Jesse.
I climbed out of the wheelchair with Little Man, and we got into the car. I hooked him into his car seat and started crying again. Jesse drove us home and we got to walk in the house with Little Man! We carried him together and put him in his room. I unhooked him and rocked with him while Jesse fed the animals. We then let them come in to meet Logan. They all sniffed and were mostly indifferent. Since then, things have gone pretty well. We're still adjusting to having him here and coming up with a schedule. We're trying to stick to his - every 3 hour feeding schedule. He is nursed every other feeding, then supplemented with a bottle. I still have to pump with each of his feedings, so Jesse helps me out and usually does the bottle while I pump for the non-nursing feedings. So that is extra exhausting. It would be so easy to give in and do formula, but I have to think of this as just a phase. We'll get to all nursing.
We didn't have Logan's monitors set up for his room (we got these), so Jesse made up a pallet and I slept on the floor next to his crib. He kind of slept off and on inbetween feedings. I let Jesse sleep through the night, I figured at least one of us should be able to, and I definitely couldn't. He got up for Logan's 11:00 feeding and let me nap after I pumped. He did a lot around the house and I felt recharged with about 2 more hours of sleep (I know all of you parents out there know what that's like). Last night he slept in his room and let me sleep in my room inbetween 2 feedings, so that was nice!
I'll keep posting little updates here and there on this site, but the biggest hurdle is done. Thank you so much for following our story and loving Logan and cheering for him along with us. It means so much to us!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Logan 36 weeks & 4 weeks!
So yesterday Logan was 36 weeks gestational and today is 4 weeks since his birth. So yay for Little Man! He is up to 6lbs 1.5oz. The NP upped him to 7-8 feedings/day since he's been doing well with the others. Yesterday we had a lactation consultation for breast feeding. We tried him on my left side since he's been so successful with the right. I also tried a different hold - football style. I'm definitely very comfortable with cross cradle, but I figured, "Why not try something new?" Well, he ended up having another brady (bradycardia) episode where he stopped breathing and his heart rate dropped. I had actually pulled him off because he sounded choked. While I was burping him is when his heart rate dropped to the 60s. It started to come back up, but dropped again, then came back up, then dropped, then came back up again. We stayed pretty calm throughout it, probably because the lactation nurse was there and his nurse came in to help get him out of it. But, it still feels a bit like a set-back. That being said, we definitely don't want him home until he can eat without having these episodes, because they are so scary. And of course, they won't send him home until he can go awhile without those. So we're just waiting on him.
Today I had my 4-week follow up at 9:15am. Since my doctor's office is beside the hospital, I ended up spending all day with the little man. My follow up went well. I had a bunch of questions to ask about future pregnancies and this happening again. I felt really good about everything after the visit. It could happen again, but this next time I'll just be monitored really closely for pretty much ANYTHING that could trigger it. The midwife also told me that usually when there is a repeat pre-term labor, it happens about the same time the other one did. And 32 weeks, while definitely not ideal, isn't completely horrible. Another awesome thing about my visit, I got the go-ahead to start working out again! She said I shouldn't move straight into Pilates or Yoga, that I need to build my stomach muscles back up slowly, but I can get on my elliptical. We need to move it back inside this weekend so I can work on that. I have already cued up Scrubs on Netflix so I have something to watch.
I nursed Logan at his 11:30 feeding. He is no longer being weighed for nursing. Instead, they are doing it more like we will do when he is home. I will nurse him until he seems satisfied. Then, I will feed him the bottle and see what he takes. Then I will pump (this will probably get old pretty fast). As long as he gains weight, we're all good. I will work with his pediatrician to dial down on the bottle feedings and up on the breast feedings until hopefully, we are at all breast feedings and only pumping when I go back to work in April. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't remember if I mentioned this, but he is now laying flat in his crib like he will when he comes home. No more sleeping on his tummy for him! They also got rid of his z-flo, the thing that he slept in. He is getting prepped for discharge, which is exciting for us! I'm guessing pretty soon we will start getting trained for what he will need when he comes home (vitamins, supplements, etc.) and hopefully soon we will schedule the angle tolerance test - where he is monitored in his carseat for 90 minutes.
Anyways,s o back to his 11:30 feeding. He nursed for a little while on the left side. When he no longer seemed interested, I gave him his bottle. Well, he fell asleep so I put him back in his crib and went to tell the nurse. When I came back, he was awake again and making noises like he was hungry, so I picked him back up and gave him the bottle. He took about 11cc before falling asleep again. I put him back in the crib and prepped to pump. I was getting ready when he woke up again! Goodness child, stay awake! He reminds me of my niece Katy who used to fall asleep during her feedings. I think I remember her feedings taking about an hour and my sister having to use ice on her bare feet to try to wake her up. Well, the nurse came in and said she would try to give him his bottle while I pumped. So we sat and chatted while he took from his bottle. When all was said and done, he took about 40cc from his bottle.
Well, by then it was around 1:00 and I was hungry. I ran to the rest room and cleaned my pump parts. I dropped everything and was heading out to get some Subway (yay sandwich meat). Logan's Wade grandparents arrived to see him, so I chatted with them for a minute before heading out. I ate my lunch and got back to the hospital a little after 2:00. I wanted to make sure I was there for his 2:30 feeding. He was sleeping pretty well, so we ended up deciding to let him have this feeding as his tube feeding for the day while I pumped.
After that we just chilled for awhile. I tried to nap a little and maybe got about 10-15 minutes in. Jesse got up to the hospital for Logan's 5:30 feeding. I nursed him again and did both sides. I wasn't sure if he was getting anything, but oh well. Jesse fed him his bottle and he took about 20-something cc. After that we went to the support group meeting. Once again, it was really nice to be there. There is definitely a special club for those who have been on magnesium sulfate. And I hope that none of you readers are members of the club.
As we were leaving tonight, it struck me that you know you've been going somewhere long enough when the parking attendant no longer says "Have a good night," but "See you tomorrow." I know a good portion of the NICU nurses now, even when they are not Logan's nurse for the day or night. The front desk ladies (there has yet to be a male there) know us, too, and sometimes just wave us through as they call back to let his nurse know we are here. We recognize other parents, now, and share that smile when we meet in the hall. The smile that says, "I know what you're going through. I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope you're out of here soon." But, this is not a bad thing. I couldn't ask for better nurses for Logan. It warms my heart when his nurse comes in and say, "I was so happy to be assigned to him today! He's so cute!" He seems to have a fan club among the nurses. They exclaim over his dimples and say how sweet he is. They also say how much he has grown. It's very reassuring.
Jesse and I are doing ok. We're both very exhausted. For me, I have to pump every three hours, so I don't get good sleep. I'm finally feeling well enough physically to get things done at home, so that's helping a little. And a dishwasher repairman is coming tomorrow, so hopefully it's an easy fix. Jesse gets up in the morning, goes to work, sometimes comes home for lunch, goes straight to the hospital, then gets home anywhere from 7:00-9:00 at night. We end up eating dinner late, so lots of times it's just fast food, or some arrangement of leftovers we may have. We're looking forward to being home with Logan so we can hopefully have real meals and food. I want vegetables!
Last, I would like to thank all of you for your support in this trying time. It hasn't gone unnoticed, even if it has gone unsaid. We appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers and love. It really means a lot to us. So thank you in sharing in this difficult time, even if it's just from afar. So here are some more Logan pics:
Oh, and Happy Belated 3rd Birthday to our sweet niece Molly! We love you and hope you have so much fun at Disney World next week!
Today I had my 4-week follow up at 9:15am. Since my doctor's office is beside the hospital, I ended up spending all day with the little man. My follow up went well. I had a bunch of questions to ask about future pregnancies and this happening again. I felt really good about everything after the visit. It could happen again, but this next time I'll just be monitored really closely for pretty much ANYTHING that could trigger it. The midwife also told me that usually when there is a repeat pre-term labor, it happens about the same time the other one did. And 32 weeks, while definitely not ideal, isn't completely horrible. Another awesome thing about my visit, I got the go-ahead to start working out again! She said I shouldn't move straight into Pilates or Yoga, that I need to build my stomach muscles back up slowly, but I can get on my elliptical. We need to move it back inside this weekend so I can work on that. I have already cued up Scrubs on Netflix so I have something to watch.
I nursed Logan at his 11:30 feeding. He is no longer being weighed for nursing. Instead, they are doing it more like we will do when he is home. I will nurse him until he seems satisfied. Then, I will feed him the bottle and see what he takes. Then I will pump (this will probably get old pretty fast). As long as he gains weight, we're all good. I will work with his pediatrician to dial down on the bottle feedings and up on the breast feedings until hopefully, we are at all breast feedings and only pumping when I go back to work in April. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't remember if I mentioned this, but he is now laying flat in his crib like he will when he comes home. No more sleeping on his tummy for him! They also got rid of his z-flo, the thing that he slept in. He is getting prepped for discharge, which is exciting for us! I'm guessing pretty soon we will start getting trained for what he will need when he comes home (vitamins, supplements, etc.) and hopefully soon we will schedule the angle tolerance test - where he is monitored in his carseat for 90 minutes.
Anyways,s o back to his 11:30 feeding. He nursed for a little while on the left side. When he no longer seemed interested, I gave him his bottle. Well, he fell asleep so I put him back in his crib and went to tell the nurse. When I came back, he was awake again and making noises like he was hungry, so I picked him back up and gave him the bottle. He took about 11cc before falling asleep again. I put him back in the crib and prepped to pump. I was getting ready when he woke up again! Goodness child, stay awake! He reminds me of my niece Katy who used to fall asleep during her feedings. I think I remember her feedings taking about an hour and my sister having to use ice on her bare feet to try to wake her up. Well, the nurse came in and said she would try to give him his bottle while I pumped. So we sat and chatted while he took from his bottle. When all was said and done, he took about 40cc from his bottle.
Well, by then it was around 1:00 and I was hungry. I ran to the rest room and cleaned my pump parts. I dropped everything and was heading out to get some Subway (yay sandwich meat). Logan's Wade grandparents arrived to see him, so I chatted with them for a minute before heading out. I ate my lunch and got back to the hospital a little after 2:00. I wanted to make sure I was there for his 2:30 feeding. He was sleeping pretty well, so we ended up deciding to let him have this feeding as his tube feeding for the day while I pumped.
After that we just chilled for awhile. I tried to nap a little and maybe got about 10-15 minutes in. Jesse got up to the hospital for Logan's 5:30 feeding. I nursed him again and did both sides. I wasn't sure if he was getting anything, but oh well. Jesse fed him his bottle and he took about 20-something cc. After that we went to the support group meeting. Once again, it was really nice to be there. There is definitely a special club for those who have been on magnesium sulfate. And I hope that none of you readers are members of the club.
As we were leaving tonight, it struck me that you know you've been going somewhere long enough when the parking attendant no longer says "Have a good night," but "See you tomorrow." I know a good portion of the NICU nurses now, even when they are not Logan's nurse for the day or night. The front desk ladies (there has yet to be a male there) know us, too, and sometimes just wave us through as they call back to let his nurse know we are here. We recognize other parents, now, and share that smile when we meet in the hall. The smile that says, "I know what you're going through. I'm sorry you're going through it. I hope you're out of here soon." But, this is not a bad thing. I couldn't ask for better nurses for Logan. It warms my heart when his nurse comes in and say, "I was so happy to be assigned to him today! He's so cute!" He seems to have a fan club among the nurses. They exclaim over his dimples and say how sweet he is. They also say how much he has grown. It's very reassuring.
Jesse and I are doing ok. We're both very exhausted. For me, I have to pump every three hours, so I don't get good sleep. I'm finally feeling well enough physically to get things done at home, so that's helping a little. And a dishwasher repairman is coming tomorrow, so hopefully it's an easy fix. Jesse gets up in the morning, goes to work, sometimes comes home for lunch, goes straight to the hospital, then gets home anywhere from 7:00-9:00 at night. We end up eating dinner late, so lots of times it's just fast food, or some arrangement of leftovers we may have. We're looking forward to being home with Logan so we can hopefully have real meals and food. I want vegetables!
Last, I would like to thank all of you for your support in this trying time. It hasn't gone unnoticed, even if it has gone unsaid. We appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers and love. It really means a lot to us. So thank you in sharing in this difficult time, even if it's just from afar. So here are some more Logan pics:
Oh, and Happy Belated 3rd Birthday to our sweet niece Molly! We love you and hope you have so much fun at Disney World next week!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Logan 2/19
Logan had a good day today! He has been bumped up to 5-6 bottles a day. It's up to the nurses how many they want to try. They're going to start with 5 and see how he does. Really, it depends on if he is awake enough or not. He now weighs 6lbs and his feedings have been upped - 50cc for tube feedings and 45-55cc for breast/bottle feedings.
Today we went up to visit Logan together. I had to run up to school to drop off some things and pick up 2 assignments I had graded before I left and wanted to put in the grade book since grades are due tomorrow. I also stayed to watch Yoda. It's nearly impossible to keep a dog who looooooves food to stay off of his feet when it's time to eat. His leg is definitely bothering him more today, it's so sad for me to see him walking and falling over because his leg gives out. I almost cried a thousand times watching him. I carried him outside to go to the bathroom and he kept falling over while trying to go. Then, when I picked him up to carry him back inside, I tripped and fell over on him. I did start crying then because I was afraid I hurt him more. He was shaking in my arms, so awful! I now have a very bruised knee. Boo!
When we got to the hospital, I nursed Logan after Jesse changed his diaper and he was weighed. He latched on well and I very carefully watched him to make sure he was breathing. If it looked like he stopped, I would give him a nudge or start to pull him off - and he would start to breathe. So great job Little Man! He ended up nursing for 30 minutes and when he was weighed we saw he'd taken 58cc!!!!!! Wow! We couldn't believe it. The nurse said that we should still offer him the bottle and see if he would take anymore, because the scales aren't always 100% correct. Well, he then took 9 more cc of milk. And he had no episodes.
Afterwards, Logan was very awake while I pumped, so Jesse played with him. Then when I finished pumping we went to the 2nd floor Special Care Nursery and enjoyed some pizza. The support group has pizza and pasta every 1st and 3rd Tuesdays in the lobby. We then went to say goodnight to Logan. This was during shift change, so we saw both his day nurse and night nurse. They were talking about Logan and said how cute he is and how much they love him. The night nurse said she likes to hold him at night because he's so sweet. What an awesome little man!
Enjoy these videos and pictures:
Today we went up to visit Logan together. I had to run up to school to drop off some things and pick up 2 assignments I had graded before I left and wanted to put in the grade book since grades are due tomorrow. I also stayed to watch Yoda. It's nearly impossible to keep a dog who looooooves food to stay off of his feet when it's time to eat. His leg is definitely bothering him more today, it's so sad for me to see him walking and falling over because his leg gives out. I almost cried a thousand times watching him. I carried him outside to go to the bathroom and he kept falling over while trying to go. Then, when I picked him up to carry him back inside, I tripped and fell over on him. I did start crying then because I was afraid I hurt him more. He was shaking in my arms, so awful! I now have a very bruised knee. Boo!
When we got to the hospital, I nursed Logan after Jesse changed his diaper and he was weighed. He latched on well and I very carefully watched him to make sure he was breathing. If it looked like he stopped, I would give him a nudge or start to pull him off - and he would start to breathe. So great job Little Man! He ended up nursing for 30 minutes and when he was weighed we saw he'd taken 58cc!!!!!! Wow! We couldn't believe it. The nurse said that we should still offer him the bottle and see if he would take anymore, because the scales aren't always 100% correct. Well, he then took 9 more cc of milk. And he had no episodes.
Afterwards, Logan was very awake while I pumped, so Jesse played with him. Then when I finished pumping we went to the 2nd floor Special Care Nursery and enjoyed some pizza. The support group has pizza and pasta every 1st and 3rd Tuesdays in the lobby. We then went to say goodnight to Logan. This was during shift change, so we saw both his day nurse and night nurse. They were talking about Logan and said how cute he is and how much they love him. The night nurse said she likes to hold him at night because he's so sweet. What an awesome little man!
Enjoy these videos and pictures:
Monday, February 18, 2013
Logan - President's Day Weekend
This has been a busy weekend - I had two showers, so between those, pumping, and visiting Logan, I haven't had much time for anything else. Oh, and sorry, this will probably be long since it encompasses three days.
But first, in honor of President's Day, I would like to make a quick list of my top 5 favorite presidents (I won't take the time to explain why, just take it from a US History teacher that there is thought put into these...):
1. William Henry Harrison
2. James K. Polk
3. JQA
4. Millard Fillmore
5. George W. Bush
Oh wait, those are my LEAST favorite presidents. haha! Here's the real list:
1. George Washington
2. Thomas Jefferson
3. FDR
4. Abraham Lincoln
5. JFK
So on to Logan:
He's doing well! Saturday I did make it up for his 8:30am feeding. It was really difficult to get up at 6:45 and shower and stuff. I rewarded myself with a chicken biscuit, cinnamon roll & soda. Yum yum! I got there by 8:00 and woke Little Man up with a diaper change. Then the nurse weighed him and I got him to latch on. When he had slowed down and was getting tired, we weighed him again. He had eaten 18cc! I gave him his bottle next while the nurse supervised. He took some more in the bottle, but I don't remember how much. I know he didn't complete his feeding. After that I laid him back down and I tried to nap a little bit. It kind of worked, but not well enough.
Jesse came up a little before noon. Logan also had a very special visitor - his Auntie Ruthens! She was in town for my baby shower, so I told her to stop by and meet Logan. He was pretty much conked out for the entire visit. Ruthie and I left to go to my baby shower and Jesse stayed with Logan. He was going to give Logan a bottle for his 2:30 feeding. Before Logan goes home, Jesse and I both have to be able to give him bottles.
My shower on Saturday was with my friends at Brittany's house. We had a lot of fun and ate some yummy food.
I went home after that and was feeling really exhausted by the time I got home, and really wanted to nap. But I needed to put some sheets in the laundry and unload the dishwasher. I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it. Then I poured in some detergent and pushed start. And nothing happened. I opened the door and tried again. Still nothing happened. So awesome. One week after our dryer died, our 2.5 year old dishwasher dried. Just what I needed (not). If anyone knows of a great and inexpensive repairman, let us know. Before we drop a few hundred on another appliance, I want to make sure there's not an easy (or inexpensive) fix.
Sunday, there was another shower, this time with my mother-in-law's side of the family and Jesse's female friends (or significant others & moms of his guy friends). The shower was held at a German Restaurant in downtown Stone Mountain. That was another lovely shower, also with some good food.
After the shower, we went up to the hospital for his 5:30 feeding. We got there just in time! Jesse dropped me off while he parked so I could head on up to the NICU. I got there and was walking down the hall and heard a baby crying. I thought in my head, "I wonder who's baby that is." Well, it was mine! He was wailing up a storm. He was hungry and knew he was hungry. He's definitely a growing baby - he cries more often now. And while we were hoping he wouldn't be a crying baby, it's a good sign that he recognizes hunger, has more energy, and stronger lungs. So we'll take it.
There was a nurse in there changing his diaper and getting him ready to eat. I basically had time to sit down, put on a nipple shield and hold out my arms for him. He immediately latched on (the first time he's done that) and started eating. I was watching him eat and trying to monitor him and pay attention to his monitors. Well, he had an apnea episode, and let me tell you, that's the scariest thing ever. I don't know how many of you have been feeding your baby when he/she stops breathing. His heart rate dropped to the 60s and stayed down there long enough to notify the nurse. He didn't get himself out of it, so I started to burp him. That helped get him breathing again and brought his color back to a health color (he basically had no color in his face during his episode). I was so terrified that I didn't want to put him back on to eat. Instead I just held him to calm my heart rate. I already have terrifying visions of him coming home and having an episode. It's enough to make me want him to stay in the hospital until he's 2 (not really, but it's probably the scariest thing I can think of with him right now.).
So the nurse came back in and weighed him. The good news is that he took 38cc! His feedings were 45cc at that point, so he only needed to take 7cc by the bottle. She gave me a bottle and I settled in to feed him. At this point I was still so scared about his episode, that I was being WAY too gentle with his bottle. I think I wasn't really putting milk into the bottle, so he was just sucking air (so we had a few good burps!). But finally I calmed down and he started drinking. He ended up taking an additional 10cc I do believe, so more than he needed. He was such a good boy for his mama! Jesse held him after that while I pumped. We went home a little while later.
Today was an eventful day. I woke up and noticed Yoda was acting weird. I observed him and saw that he was trying to avoid his rear left leg. I called Jesse and let him know, and then called the vet. They could fit him in the morning, so I finished breakfast and took him up there. They took some blood and then the vet observed him walking and felt around his leg. She wanted to keep him there for x-rays, so I had to leave my other baby at the pet hospital. So I had two babies at the hospital today - which was so not cool! Jesse decided that he wouldn't visit Logan today so he could pick Yoda up and spend some good time with him. We can tell the pets are a little uneasy and off-kilter with our new schedule and all the craziness going on, so we want to try to comfort them as well. Thankfully Yoda just has a mild sprain. Unfortunately, that means we have to keep him off of his leg for two weeks, so he's going to be crated when we're not there. We're trying to keep him on the couch or bed when we are here. The vet doesn't really want him walking on it at all. This is going to be difficult for us, he loves to be excited and jump around.
I got up to the hospital around 2:15 and walked into Logan receiving his physical therapy. Little Man gets a massage with this, I was a little jealous! The PT checks his reactions and such, and said that he's doing great. She said he's bringing his hands together and to his mouth, which is great. He follows her finger with his eyes, he has decent head control, good muscle tone, etc. He was awake for this and ready to go for nursing again. This time he took 36cc. I was learning how to get him to pace. The biggest thing is that I have to forget the monitors and learn to watch him for the signs of not breathing. He has to pace himself. I watched him carefully and at one point noticed he hadn't breathed in a little while, so I pull him off and sat him up. Sure enough his alarms started going off, so I just started burping him. His heart rate went right back up and he did great.
Before he started eating I had talked to the nurse about how he was doing (he's up to 5lbs 15oz) and asked her about the episodes he has had and how to handle those on my end. She mentioned that they said I handled his episode from yesterday well. I confessed that outwardly I may have handled it well, but inside was all panic and fear and every emotion that goes with those.
But anyways, after he finished nursing we gave him the bottle. He is up to 48cc with tube feedings and 45-50 with the bottle. He has to finish 45cc, but he can take up to 50cc. So he finally started eating and I was watching him. While the nurse was in there, he had another episode. I gently took the bottle out and burped him to get his heart rate back up. The nurse said it was long enough for her to have to make a note of it. She taught me how to pace him, though. Watch for 3-5 sucks, then lower the bottle and force him to breathe. So I will start paying attention to that to help him not have episodes. If he has an episode when he's closer to coming home, that will delay his discharge by at least 3 days.
After that I held him for awhile because he was awake and so cute. It's not good to rock or shake him yet, because that is overstimulation, so we just sat there and stared into each other's eyes. Oh, and I started walking him through the different president's and the different things they did. I put him back in his crib before I could finish, so I could pump. He stayed awake, so I read him some more books. When I was going to deposit my milk, he started crying. I talked and sang to him and got him to quiet down a little, so I started going through the presidents again. When I got to Nixon, he started crying again. I guess we know who Logan's least favorite president is...
So this time I washed my hands and picked him up and got him to stop. I put him back down and he seemed to start sleeping, so I took my milk up to the front. When I came back, he was wailing away. The nurse asked if I wanted her to put him on his stomach (he can sleep on his stomach since he is monitored), so I said yes. We decided to change his diaper and figured out why he was crying. He had a monster poop! After that, and once he was snuggled up, he fell right asleep.
We've had a lot of people ask if we know when he's coming home and the answer is no. They won't give us a date until it's about 2-3 days away, and that date could even change. Logan has to be able to take 8 bottles a day and not have any apnea episodes. He's only at 4 bottles a day. I'm hoping they will bump it up to 5 soon. The thing is, eating on his own is exhausting, so he wears himself out. He has taken all of his bottles yesterday and today at least up until I was there. But they are also looking at how long it takes him to finish. Plus, we need to let him sleep. So if you come visit him, please don't try to wake him up. He needs to sleep in between feedings to conserve and build up his energy to eat. That's also why they don't really want him being held that often. He just needs to rest and build up the energy. So fingers crossed that he gets bumped up to 5 bottles soon (there's a good chance this will take awhile for him to get used to, since he will have 3 feedings in a row where he has to work for it). But when we know that he has a tentative discharge date, we will share it with everyone. It can sometimes get a bit frustrating for us when people ask only because it reminds us that we don't know yet and he's still not home with us. :(
Here's some pictures of our increasingly chunky boy:
But first, in honor of President's Day, I would like to make a quick list of my top 5 favorite presidents (I won't take the time to explain why, just take it from a US History teacher that there is thought put into these...):
1. William Henry Harrison
2. James K. Polk
3. JQA
4. Millard Fillmore
5. George W. Bush
Oh wait, those are my LEAST favorite presidents. haha! Here's the real list:
1. George Washington
2. Thomas Jefferson
3. FDR
4. Abraham Lincoln
5. JFK
So on to Logan:
He's doing well! Saturday I did make it up for his 8:30am feeding. It was really difficult to get up at 6:45 and shower and stuff. I rewarded myself with a chicken biscuit, cinnamon roll & soda. Yum yum! I got there by 8:00 and woke Little Man up with a diaper change. Then the nurse weighed him and I got him to latch on. When he had slowed down and was getting tired, we weighed him again. He had eaten 18cc! I gave him his bottle next while the nurse supervised. He took some more in the bottle, but I don't remember how much. I know he didn't complete his feeding. After that I laid him back down and I tried to nap a little bit. It kind of worked, but not well enough.
Jesse came up a little before noon. Logan also had a very special visitor - his Auntie Ruthens! She was in town for my baby shower, so I told her to stop by and meet Logan. He was pretty much conked out for the entire visit. Ruthie and I left to go to my baby shower and Jesse stayed with Logan. He was going to give Logan a bottle for his 2:30 feeding. Before Logan goes home, Jesse and I both have to be able to give him bottles.
My shower on Saturday was with my friends at Brittany's house. We had a lot of fun and ate some yummy food.
I went home after that and was feeling really exhausted by the time I got home, and really wanted to nap. But I needed to put some sheets in the laundry and unload the dishwasher. I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it. Then I poured in some detergent and pushed start. And nothing happened. I opened the door and tried again. Still nothing happened. So awesome. One week after our dryer died, our 2.5 year old dishwasher dried. Just what I needed (not). If anyone knows of a great and inexpensive repairman, let us know. Before we drop a few hundred on another appliance, I want to make sure there's not an easy (or inexpensive) fix.
Sunday, there was another shower, this time with my mother-in-law's side of the family and Jesse's female friends (or significant others & moms of his guy friends). The shower was held at a German Restaurant in downtown Stone Mountain. That was another lovely shower, also with some good food.
After the shower, we went up to the hospital for his 5:30 feeding. We got there just in time! Jesse dropped me off while he parked so I could head on up to the NICU. I got there and was walking down the hall and heard a baby crying. I thought in my head, "I wonder who's baby that is." Well, it was mine! He was wailing up a storm. He was hungry and knew he was hungry. He's definitely a growing baby - he cries more often now. And while we were hoping he wouldn't be a crying baby, it's a good sign that he recognizes hunger, has more energy, and stronger lungs. So we'll take it.
There was a nurse in there changing his diaper and getting him ready to eat. I basically had time to sit down, put on a nipple shield and hold out my arms for him. He immediately latched on (the first time he's done that) and started eating. I was watching him eat and trying to monitor him and pay attention to his monitors. Well, he had an apnea episode, and let me tell you, that's the scariest thing ever. I don't know how many of you have been feeding your baby when he/she stops breathing. His heart rate dropped to the 60s and stayed down there long enough to notify the nurse. He didn't get himself out of it, so I started to burp him. That helped get him breathing again and brought his color back to a health color (he basically had no color in his face during his episode). I was so terrified that I didn't want to put him back on to eat. Instead I just held him to calm my heart rate. I already have terrifying visions of him coming home and having an episode. It's enough to make me want him to stay in the hospital until he's 2 (not really, but it's probably the scariest thing I can think of with him right now.).
So the nurse came back in and weighed him. The good news is that he took 38cc! His feedings were 45cc at that point, so he only needed to take 7cc by the bottle. She gave me a bottle and I settled in to feed him. At this point I was still so scared about his episode, that I was being WAY too gentle with his bottle. I think I wasn't really putting milk into the bottle, so he was just sucking air (so we had a few good burps!). But finally I calmed down and he started drinking. He ended up taking an additional 10cc I do believe, so more than he needed. He was such a good boy for his mama! Jesse held him after that while I pumped. We went home a little while later.
Today was an eventful day. I woke up and noticed Yoda was acting weird. I observed him and saw that he was trying to avoid his rear left leg. I called Jesse and let him know, and then called the vet. They could fit him in the morning, so I finished breakfast and took him up there. They took some blood and then the vet observed him walking and felt around his leg. She wanted to keep him there for x-rays, so I had to leave my other baby at the pet hospital. So I had two babies at the hospital today - which was so not cool! Jesse decided that he wouldn't visit Logan today so he could pick Yoda up and spend some good time with him. We can tell the pets are a little uneasy and off-kilter with our new schedule and all the craziness going on, so we want to try to comfort them as well. Thankfully Yoda just has a mild sprain. Unfortunately, that means we have to keep him off of his leg for two weeks, so he's going to be crated when we're not there. We're trying to keep him on the couch or bed when we are here. The vet doesn't really want him walking on it at all. This is going to be difficult for us, he loves to be excited and jump around.
I got up to the hospital around 2:15 and walked into Logan receiving his physical therapy. Little Man gets a massage with this, I was a little jealous! The PT checks his reactions and such, and said that he's doing great. She said he's bringing his hands together and to his mouth, which is great. He follows her finger with his eyes, he has decent head control, good muscle tone, etc. He was awake for this and ready to go for nursing again. This time he took 36cc. I was learning how to get him to pace. The biggest thing is that I have to forget the monitors and learn to watch him for the signs of not breathing. He has to pace himself. I watched him carefully and at one point noticed he hadn't breathed in a little while, so I pull him off and sat him up. Sure enough his alarms started going off, so I just started burping him. His heart rate went right back up and he did great.
Before he started eating I had talked to the nurse about how he was doing (he's up to 5lbs 15oz) and asked her about the episodes he has had and how to handle those on my end. She mentioned that they said I handled his episode from yesterday well. I confessed that outwardly I may have handled it well, but inside was all panic and fear and every emotion that goes with those.
But anyways, after he finished nursing we gave him the bottle. He is up to 48cc with tube feedings and 45-50 with the bottle. He has to finish 45cc, but he can take up to 50cc. So he finally started eating and I was watching him. While the nurse was in there, he had another episode. I gently took the bottle out and burped him to get his heart rate back up. The nurse said it was long enough for her to have to make a note of it. She taught me how to pace him, though. Watch for 3-5 sucks, then lower the bottle and force him to breathe. So I will start paying attention to that to help him not have episodes. If he has an episode when he's closer to coming home, that will delay his discharge by at least 3 days.
After that I held him for awhile because he was awake and so cute. It's not good to rock or shake him yet, because that is overstimulation, so we just sat there and stared into each other's eyes. Oh, and I started walking him through the different president's and the different things they did. I put him back in his crib before I could finish, so I could pump. He stayed awake, so I read him some more books. When I was going to deposit my milk, he started crying. I talked and sang to him and got him to quiet down a little, so I started going through the presidents again. When I got to Nixon, he started crying again. I guess we know who Logan's least favorite president is...
So this time I washed my hands and picked him up and got him to stop. I put him back down and he seemed to start sleeping, so I took my milk up to the front. When I came back, he was wailing away. The nurse asked if I wanted her to put him on his stomach (he can sleep on his stomach since he is monitored), so I said yes. We decided to change his diaper and figured out why he was crying. He had a monster poop! After that, and once he was snuggled up, he fell right asleep.
We've had a lot of people ask if we know when he's coming home and the answer is no. They won't give us a date until it's about 2-3 days away, and that date could even change. Logan has to be able to take 8 bottles a day and not have any apnea episodes. He's only at 4 bottles a day. I'm hoping they will bump it up to 5 soon. The thing is, eating on his own is exhausting, so he wears himself out. He has taken all of his bottles yesterday and today at least up until I was there. But they are also looking at how long it takes him to finish. Plus, we need to let him sleep. So if you come visit him, please don't try to wake him up. He needs to sleep in between feedings to conserve and build up his energy to eat. That's also why they don't really want him being held that often. He just needs to rest and build up the energy. So fingers crossed that he gets bumped up to 5 bottles soon (there's a good chance this will take awhile for him to get used to, since he will have 3 feedings in a row where he has to work for it). But when we know that he has a tentative discharge date, we will share it with everyone. It can sometimes get a bit frustrating for us when people ask only because it reminds us that we don't know yet and he's still not home with us. :(
Here's some pictures of our increasingly chunky boy:
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