Two Fridays ago Jesse and I went up to the NICU together one he got off of work. While we were there, the nurse mentioned, "Oh, Logan should be going home Sunday or Monday." This is all Jesse and I could think, "!" He had just been upped to 7-8 bottles! We knew it would be sometime the next week, we just didn't think it would be that early. Plus, we hadn't done the carseat test (really, Angle Tolerance Test). We hadn't set up Logan's room (we had been planning on doing that Sunday) and there were still things we needed to get for him. We decided to wait and see what the Nurse Practitioner had to say on Saturday before we completely panicked.
Saturday I had my last baby shower with Jesse's dad's side of the family. I planned to see Logan after the shower and then head home. Jesse was going to go up and see him while I was at the shower, then go spend the evening with the Wades to celebrate his sister's birthday. While at the shower (which was very beautiful and wonderful), the NP called and said Logan was ready to go home the next day. That put me in all out panic mode, I had been hoping that it would be Monday so we could spend Sunday setting up Logan's room. I called Jesse and told him we weren't getting any sleep that night.
Sidebar: the reason we needed to set up his room is because we had just put every present we had received in the center of the floor. There were things still in boxes, the furniture not where it was supposed to be, and I still needed to wipe down the rest of the walls from the dust of getting new floors.
So I got home from feeding Logan around 8:00-ish. Jesse went to his dad's, but stopped to pick up the glider at Babies R Us (that was the one thing we both REALLY wanted and felt we probably needed). I started working on Logan's room and when Jesse got home he helped. I ended up going to sleep around 3:00am and Jesse around 5:00am. We got up early so we could finish getting what we needed at Babies R Us and then head over to the hospital. We had to be there by 11:30 because I had a lactation consultation. Well, we got there and were just balls of nerves. We were so not ready for Little Man to come home. We definitely wanted him there, but mentally, we hadn't had time to prepare. I settled into a chair and prepared to nurse Logan after discussing some things with the lactation consultant. Logan started nursing, all was going well, and then, "ding! ding! ding!" He started to have an episode. I pulled him off and we watched him recover, but it was enough that the nurse had to report it to the nurse practitioner and doctor. We knew what that meant, Little Man wasn't coming home after all... :(
The nurse practitioner came in and said that she wanted me to spend a night at the hospital. It's called nesting. They have a special room in the NICU for this, where parents can practice being parents, while the baby is still monitored. She really wanted me to do it that night, but I was so exhausted I knew I just needed to go home and get some sleep. She did mention that I needed to practice nursing him as much as possible, so I planned to stay at the hospital for his 5:30 feeding (his 2:30 was a bottle feeding and Jesse did that one). So after we grabbed a bite to eat for lunch and Jesse fed Logan, I took Jesse home (we actually made a side trip to Target first) and then went back to the hospital. His 5:30 feeding went great, and I planned to be at the hospital the next day for his 11:30.
Monday I was up at Northside for Logan's 11:30 feeding, and also to find out what to expect for the nesting that night. Basically, he and I would go to a room for the night and I would be responsible for all of his feedings, warming his bottles, and changing his diapers. They wanted me to record his diapers and how much he ate. The night nurse would check on him when he was up, but otherwise, he was all mine. So I went back home and packed a bag and got to the hospital around 5:00-ish. Jesse fed Logan a bottle at that time and then we went out to eat. If everything went well, he would be coming home on Tuesday!
Everything went great that night! The nurse and I bathed Little Man in the morning, and then I headed home after seeing him settled back in his room. I took a shower and headed to the hair dresser. After my hair appointment I went back to the hospital because I had another lactation consultation - this one was for discharge plans! Well, I got there and the nurse let me know that Logan had another episode that morning and she wasn't sure what that meant. I was disappointed and called Jesse to let him know. The nurse practitioner came in and gave us two options: we could stay and see how Logan does through his feedings and take him home later that night; or, let him be observed overnight and bring him home Wednesday. We opted for the latter. So instead of going home and picking up Jesse so we could bring Little Man home, I stayed up at the hospital and Jesse met me there. We fed Logan and went home after a little while.
We woke up Wednesday excited. We were so ready to have him home with us! All of those nerves from Sunday were gone, and we were just ready to be done. I went to the hospital around noon to feed Logan. When I got there, the nurse told me he'd had another episode! Once I had some time with Little Man in his room, I just cried for a little while. I was so worried about him and so disappointed. I called Jesse and let him know that Wednesday wouldn't be the day either, and that I would call him after I spoke to the nurse practitioner and knew what was going on. The nurse practitioner came in a little while later and told me that they wanted to put him back on a feeding schedule - every 3 hours. He was only having the episodes for feedings, so they wanted to see how he would do with that. If he could make it 2 days without an episode, then he could go home, so now we were looking at Friday as the earliest possible date. I went home after that because I was emotionally drained. I took a nap and did some stuff around the house. Jesse went up for Logan's 5:00 feeding and I went up for his 8:00. Before I left I asked the nurse to call me if he had anymore episodes. No more of the coming in, thinking he could go home, and being told he'd had another episode.
Thursday we went up together at 4:30. He had done great that day, so things were still looking good. He nursed well with me and then took the bottle well with Jesse. We down to the Parents of Preemies meeting, and it helped to talk about our frustration with all of the discharge dates. Friday was much the same, except the anticipation started building. The nurse practitioner called and said he'd been doing great and we were all set to be discharged. She asked me to go on and make a pediatrician appointment, so I called ours and had that set up. I drove Jesse back to work after his lunch so that we would only have one car to go up to the hospital. Then, around 4:15, I started collecting what we would need. I started to get all teary-eyed thinking of actually bringing Little Man home!
When we go to the hospital, I started to nurse him. About a minute in, he took a big gulp and choked a little. So I pulled him off and let him catch his breath. This of course triggered his monitors and caused him to have a drop in heart rate. The nurse was in there with me, so we were watching him and saw that his color stayed the same. Well, I felt my heart drop, wondering if this meant we wouldn't be able to bring him home or not. The nurse called the nurse practitioner and that talked. Fortunately, they said he was still coming home. It was all about whether or not we were comfortable, because full term babies can get choked up like that when eating. Heck, I get choked up when eating sometimes. I felt relieved that we weren't going to move his discharge date. We got everything packed up, signed papers, and then Jesse took everything out to the car. The nurse looked at me and said, "It's time." She turned off the monitors and the screen went black. I started crying as she removed his leads. I would finally get to hold my baby without wires! They had me sit in the wheelchair and handed Logan over to me. We said good bye to the NICU and his room(s) and were wheeled downstairs to meet Jesse.
I climbed out of the wheelchair with Little Man, and we got into the car. I hooked him into his car seat and started crying again. Jesse drove us home and we got to walk in the house with Little Man! We carried him together and put him in his room. I unhooked him and rocked with him while Jesse fed the animals. We then let them come in to meet Logan. They all sniffed and were mostly indifferent. Since then, things have gone pretty well. We're still adjusting to having him here and coming up with a schedule. We're trying to stick to his - every 3 hour feeding schedule. He is nursed every other feeding, then supplemented with a bottle. I still have to pump with each of his feedings, so Jesse helps me out and usually does the bottle while I pump for the non-nursing feedings. So that is extra exhausting. It would be so easy to give in and do formula, but I have to think of this as just a phase. We'll get to all nursing.
We didn't have Logan's monitors set up for his room (we got these), so Jesse made up a pallet and I slept on the floor next to his crib. He kind of slept off and on inbetween feedings. I let Jesse sleep through the night, I figured at least one of us should be able to, and I definitely couldn't. He got up for Logan's 11:00 feeding and let me nap after I pumped. He did a lot around the house and I felt recharged with about 2 more hours of sleep (I know all of you parents out there know what that's like). Last night he slept in his room and let me sleep in my room inbetween 2 feedings, so that was nice!
I'll keep posting little updates here and there on this site, but the biggest hurdle is done. Thank you so much for following our story and loving Logan and cheering for him along with us. It means so much to us!
No comments:
Post a Comment