Logan 36 weeks & 4 weeks!

So yesterday Logan was 36 weeks gestational and today is 4 weeks since his birth.  So yay for Little Man!  He is up to 6lbs 1.5oz.  The NP upped him to 7-8 feedings/day since he's been doing well with the others.  Yesterday we had a lactation consultation for breast feeding.  We tried him on my left side since he's been so successful with the right.  I also tried a different hold - football style.  I'm definitely very comfortable with cross cradle, but I figured, "Why not try something new?"  Well, he ended up having another brady (bradycardia) episode where he stopped breathing and his heart rate dropped.  I had actually pulled him off because he sounded choked.  While I was burping him is when his heart rate dropped to the 60s.  It started to come back up, but dropped again, then came back up, then dropped, then came back up again.  We stayed pretty calm throughout it, probably because the lactation nurse was there and his nurse came in to help get him out of it.  But, it still feels a bit like a set-back.  That being said, we definitely don't want him home until he can eat without having these episodes, because they are so scary.  And of course, they won't send him home until he can go awhile without those.  So we're just waiting on him.

Today I had my 4-week follow up at 9:15am.  Since my doctor's office is beside the hospital, I ended up spending all day with the little man.  My follow up went well.  I had a bunch of questions to ask about future pregnancies and this happening again.  I felt really good about everything after the visit.  It could happen again, but this next time I'll just be monitored really closely for pretty much ANYTHING that could trigger it.  The midwife also told me that usually when there is a repeat pre-term labor, it happens about the same time the other one did.  And 32 weeks, while definitely not ideal, isn't completely horrible.  Another awesome thing about my visit, I got the go-ahead to start working out again!  She said I shouldn't move straight into Pilates or Yoga, that I need to build my stomach muscles back up slowly, but I can get on my elliptical.  We need to move it back inside this weekend so I can work on that.  I have already cued up Scrubs on Netflix so I have something to watch.

I nursed Logan at his 11:30 feeding.  He is no longer being weighed for nursing.  Instead, they are doing it more like we will do when he is home.  I will nurse him until he seems satisfied.  Then, I will feed him the bottle and see what he takes.  Then I will pump (this will probably get old pretty fast).  As long as he gains weight, we're all good.  I will work with his pediatrician to dial down on the bottle feedings and up on the breast feedings until hopefully, we are at all breast feedings and only pumping when I go back to work in April.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I can't remember if I mentioned this, but he is now laying flat in his crib like he will when he comes home.  No more sleeping on his tummy for him!  They also got rid of his z-flo, the thing that he slept in.  He is getting prepped for discharge, which is exciting for us!  I'm guessing pretty soon we will start getting trained for what he will need when he comes home (vitamins, supplements, etc.) and hopefully soon we will schedule the angle tolerance test - where he is monitored in his carseat for 90 minutes.

Anyways,s o back to his 11:30 feeding.  He nursed for a little while on the left side.  When he no longer seemed interested, I gave him his bottle.  Well, he fell asleep so I put him back in his crib and went to tell the nurse.  When I came back, he was awake again and making noises like he was hungry, so I picked him back up and gave him the bottle.  He took about 11cc before falling asleep again.  I put him back in the crib and prepped to pump.  I was getting ready when he woke up again!  Goodness child, stay awake!  He reminds me of my niece Katy who used to fall asleep during her feedings.  I think I remember her feedings taking about an hour and my sister having to use ice on her bare feet to try to wake her up.  Well, the nurse came in and said she would try to give him his bottle while I pumped.  So we sat and chatted while he took from his bottle.  When all was said and done, he took about 40cc from his bottle.

Well, by then it was around 1:00 and I was hungry.  I ran to the rest room and cleaned my pump parts.  I dropped everything and was heading out to get some Subway (yay sandwich meat).  Logan's Wade grandparents arrived to see him, so I chatted with them for a minute before heading out.  I ate my lunch and got back to the hospital a little after 2:00.  I wanted to make sure I was there for his 2:30 feeding.  He was sleeping pretty well, so we ended up deciding to let him have this feeding as his tube feeding for the day while I pumped.

After that we just chilled for awhile.  I tried to nap a little and maybe got about 10-15 minutes in.  Jesse got up to the hospital for Logan's 5:30 feeding.  I nursed him again and did both sides.  I wasn't sure if he was getting anything, but oh well.  Jesse fed him his bottle and he took about 20-something cc.  After that we went to the support group meeting.  Once again, it was really nice to be there.  There is definitely a special club for those who have been on magnesium sulfate.  And I hope that none of you readers are members of the club.

As we were leaving tonight, it struck me that you know you've been going somewhere long enough when the parking attendant no longer says "Have a good night," but "See you tomorrow."  I know a good portion of the NICU nurses now, even when they are not Logan's nurse for the day or night.  The front desk ladies (there has yet to be a male there) know us, too, and sometimes just wave us through as they call back to let his nurse know we are here.  We recognize other parents, now, and share that smile when we meet in the hall.  The smile that says, "I know what you're going through.  I'm sorry you're going through it.  I hope you're out of here soon."  But, this is not a bad thing.  I couldn't ask for better nurses for Logan.  It warms my heart when his nurse comes in and say, "I was so happy to be assigned to him today!  He's so cute!"  He seems to have a fan club among the nurses.  They exclaim over his dimples and say how sweet he is.  They also say how much he has grown.  It's very reassuring.

Jesse and I are doing ok.  We're both very exhausted.  For me, I have to pump every three hours, so I don't get good sleep.  I'm finally feeling well enough physically to get things done at home, so that's helping a little.  And a dishwasher repairman is coming tomorrow, so hopefully it's an easy fix.  Jesse gets up in the morning, goes to work, sometimes comes home for lunch, goes straight to the hospital, then gets home anywhere from 7:00-9:00 at night.  We end up eating dinner late, so lots of times it's just fast food, or some arrangement of leftovers we may have.  We're looking forward to being home with Logan so we can hopefully have real meals and food.  I want vegetables!

Last, I would like to thank all of you for your support in this trying time.  It hasn't gone unnoticed, even if it has gone unsaid.  We appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers and love.  It really means a lot to us.  So thank you in sharing in this difficult time, even if it's just from afar.  So here are some more Logan pics:

Oh, and Happy Belated 3rd Birthday to our sweet niece Molly!  We love you and hope you have so much fun at Disney World next week!

Logan 2/19

Logan had a good day today!  He has been bumped up to 5-6 bottles a day.  It's up to the nurses how many they want to try.  They're going to start with 5 and see how he does.  Really, it depends on if he is awake enough or not.  He now weighs 6lbs and his feedings have been upped - 50cc for tube feedings and 45-55cc for breast/bottle feedings.

Today we went up to visit Logan together.  I had to run up to school to drop off some things and pick up 2 assignments I had graded before I left and wanted to put in the grade book since grades are due tomorrow.  I also stayed to watch Yoda.  It's nearly impossible to keep a dog who looooooves food to stay off of his feet when it's time to eat.  His leg is definitely bothering him more today, it's so sad for me to see him walking and falling over because his leg gives out.  I almost cried a thousand times watching him.  I carried him outside to go to the bathroom and he kept falling over while trying to go.  Then, when I picked him up to carry him back inside, I tripped and fell over on him.  I did start crying then because I was afraid I hurt him more.  He was shaking in my arms, so awful!  I now have a very bruised knee.  Boo!

When we got to the hospital, I nursed Logan after Jesse changed his diaper and he was weighed.  He latched on well and I very carefully watched him to make sure he was breathing.  If it looked like he stopped, I would give him a nudge or start to pull him off - and he would start to breathe.  So great job Little Man!  He ended up nursing for 30 minutes and when he was weighed we saw he'd taken 58cc!!!!!!  Wow!  We couldn't believe it.  The nurse said that we should still offer him the bottle and see if he would take anymore, because the scales aren't always 100% correct.  Well, he then took 9 more cc of milk.  And he had no episodes.

Afterwards, Logan was very awake while I pumped, so Jesse played with him.  Then when I finished pumping we went to the 2nd floor Special Care Nursery and enjoyed some pizza.  The support group has pizza and pasta every 1st and 3rd Tuesdays in the lobby.  We then went to say goodnight to Logan.  This was during shift change, so we saw both his day nurse and night nurse.  They were talking about Logan and said how cute he is and how much they love him.  The night nurse said she likes to hold him at night because he's so sweet.  What an awesome little man!

Enjoy these videos and pictures:

Logan - President's Day Weekend

This has been a busy weekend - I had two showers, so between those, pumping, and visiting Logan, I haven't had much time for anything else.  Oh, and sorry, this will probably be long since it encompasses three days.

But first, in honor of President's Day, I would like to make a quick list of my top 5 favorite presidents (I won't take the time to explain why, just take it from a US History teacher that there is thought put into these...):

1.  William Henry Harrison
2.  James K. Polk
3.  JQA
4.  Millard Fillmore
5.  George W. Bush

Oh wait, those are my LEAST favorite presidents.  haha!  Here's the real list:

1.  George Washington
2.  Thomas Jefferson
3.  FDR
4.  Abraham Lincoln
5.  JFK

So on to Logan:

He's doing well!  Saturday I did make it up for his 8:30am feeding.  It was really difficult to get up at 6:45 and shower and stuff.  I rewarded myself with a chicken biscuit, cinnamon roll & soda.  Yum yum!  I got there by 8:00 and woke Little Man up with a diaper change.  Then the nurse weighed him and I got him to latch on.  When he had slowed down and was getting tired, we weighed him again.  He had eaten 18cc!  I gave him his bottle next while the nurse supervised.  He took some more in the bottle, but I don't remember how much.  I know he didn't complete his feeding.  After that I laid him back down and I tried to nap a little bit.  It kind of worked, but not well enough.

Jesse came up a little before noon.  Logan also had a very special visitor - his Auntie Ruthens!  She was in town for my baby shower, so I told her to stop by and meet Logan.  He was pretty much conked out for the entire visit.  Ruthie and I left to go to my baby shower and Jesse stayed with Logan.  He was going to give Logan a bottle for his 2:30 feeding.  Before Logan goes home, Jesse and I both have to be able to give him bottles.

My shower on Saturday was with my friends at Brittany's house.  We had a lot of fun and ate some yummy food.

I went home after that and was feeling really exhausted by the time I got home, and really wanted to nap.  But I needed to put some sheets in the laundry and unload the dishwasher.  I unloaded the dishwasher and reloaded it.  Then I poured in some detergent and pushed start.  And nothing happened.  I opened the door and tried again.  Still nothing happened.  So awesome.  One week after our dryer died, our 2.5 year old dishwasher dried.  Just what I needed (not).  If anyone knows of a great and inexpensive repairman, let us know.  Before we drop a few hundred on another appliance, I want to make sure there's not an easy (or inexpensive) fix.

Sunday, there was another shower, this time with my mother-in-law's side of the family and Jesse's female friends (or significant others & moms of his guy friends).  The shower was held at a German Restaurant in downtown Stone Mountain.  That was another lovely shower, also with some good food.

After the shower, we went up to the hospital for his 5:30 feeding.  We got there just in time!  Jesse dropped me off while he parked so I could head on up to the NICU.  I got there and was walking down the hall and heard a baby crying.  I thought in my head, "I wonder who's baby that is."  Well, it was mine!  He was wailing up a storm.  He was hungry and knew he was hungry.  He's definitely a growing baby - he cries more often now.  And while we were hoping he wouldn't be a crying baby, it's a good sign that he recognizes hunger, has more energy, and stronger lungs.  So we'll take it.

There was a nurse in there changing his diaper and getting him ready to eat.  I basically had time to sit down, put on a nipple shield and hold out my arms for him.  He immediately latched on (the first time he's done that) and started eating.  I was watching him eat and trying to monitor him and pay attention to his monitors.  Well, he had an apnea episode, and let me tell you, that's the scariest thing ever.  I don't know how many of you have been feeding your baby when he/she stops breathing.  His heart rate dropped to the 60s and stayed down there long enough to notify the nurse.  He didn't get himself out of it, so I started to burp him.  That helped get him breathing again and brought his color back to a health color (he basically had no color in his face during his episode).  I was so terrified that I didn't want to put him back on to eat.  Instead I just held him to calm my heart rate.  I already have terrifying visions of him coming home and having an episode.  It's enough to make me want him to stay in the hospital until he's 2 (not really, but it's probably the scariest thing I can think of with him right now.).

So the nurse came back in and weighed him.  The good news is that he took 38cc!  His feedings were 45cc at that point, so he only needed to take 7cc by the bottle.  She gave me a bottle and I settled in to feed him.  At this point I was still so scared about his episode, that I was being WAY too gentle with his bottle.  I think I wasn't really putting milk into the bottle, so he was just sucking air (so we had a few good burps!).  But finally I calmed down and he started drinking.  He ended up taking an additional 10cc I do believe, so more than he needed.  He was such a good boy for his mama!  Jesse held him after that while I pumped.  We went home a little while later.

Today was an eventful day.  I woke up and noticed Yoda was acting weird.  I observed him and saw that he was trying to avoid his rear left leg.  I called Jesse and let him know, and then called the vet.  They could fit him in the morning, so I finished breakfast and took him up there.  They took some blood and then the vet observed him walking and felt around his leg.  She wanted to keep him there for x-rays, so I had to leave my other baby at the pet hospital.  So I had two babies at the hospital today - which was so not cool!  Jesse decided that he wouldn't visit Logan today so he could pick Yoda up and spend some good time with him.  We can tell the pets are a little uneasy and off-kilter with our new schedule and all the craziness going on, so we want to try to comfort them as well.  Thankfully Yoda just has a mild sprain.  Unfortunately, that means we have to keep him off of his leg for two weeks, so he's going to be crated when we're not there.  We're trying to keep him on the couch or bed when we are here.  The vet doesn't really want him walking on it at all.  This is going to be difficult for us, he loves to be excited and jump around.

I got up to the hospital around 2:15 and walked into Logan receiving his physical therapy.  Little Man gets a massage with this, I was a little jealous!  The PT checks his reactions and such, and said that he's doing great.  She said he's bringing his hands together and to his mouth, which is great.  He follows her finger with his eyes, he has decent head control, good muscle tone, etc.  He was awake for this and ready to go for nursing again.  This time he took 36cc.  I was learning how to get him to pace.  The biggest thing is that I have to forget the monitors and learn to watch him for the signs of not breathing.  He has to pace himself.  I watched him carefully and at one point noticed he hadn't breathed in a little while, so I pull him off and sat him up.  Sure enough his alarms started going off, so I just started burping him.  His heart rate went right back up and he did great.

Before he started eating I had talked to the nurse about how he was doing (he's up to 5lbs 15oz) and asked her about the episodes he has had and how to handle those on my end.  She mentioned that they said I handled his episode from yesterday well.  I confessed that outwardly I may have handled it well, but inside was all panic and fear and every emotion that goes with those.

But anyways, after he finished nursing we gave him the bottle.  He is up to 48cc with tube feedings and 45-50 with the bottle.  He has to finish 45cc, but he can take up to 50cc.  So he finally started eating and I was watching him.  While the nurse was in there, he had another episode.  I gently took the bottle out and burped him to get his heart rate back up.  The nurse said it was long enough for her to have to make a note of it.  She taught me how to pace him, though.  Watch for 3-5 sucks, then lower the bottle and force him to breathe.  So I will start paying attention to that to help him not have episodes.  If he has an episode when he's closer to coming home, that will delay his discharge by at least 3 days.

After that I held him for awhile because he was awake and so cute.  It's not good to rock or shake him yet, because that is overstimulation, so we just sat there and stared into each other's eyes.  Oh, and I started walking him through the different president's and the different things they did.  I put him back in his crib before I could finish, so I could pump.  He stayed awake, so I read him some more books.  When I was going to deposit my milk, he started crying.  I talked and sang to him and got him to quiet down a little, so I started going through the presidents again.  When I got to Nixon, he started crying again.  I guess we know who Logan's least favorite president is...

So this time I washed my hands and picked him up and got him to stop.  I put him back down and he seemed to start sleeping, so I took my milk up to the front.  When I came back, he was wailing away.  The nurse asked if I wanted her to put him on his stomach (he can sleep on his stomach since he is monitored), so I said yes.  We decided to change his diaper and figured out why he was crying.  He had a monster poop!  After that, and once he was snuggled up, he fell right asleep.

We've had a lot of people ask if we know when he's coming home and the answer is no.  They won't give us a date until it's about 2-3 days away, and that date could even change.  Logan has to be able to take 8 bottles a day and not have any apnea episodes.  He's only at 4 bottles a day.  I'm hoping they will bump it up to 5 soon.  The thing is, eating on his own is exhausting, so he wears himself out.  He has taken all of his bottles yesterday and today at least up until I was there.  But they are also looking at how long it takes him to finish.  Plus, we need to let him sleep.  So if you come visit him, please don't try to wake him up.  He needs to sleep in between feedings to conserve and build up his energy to eat.  That's also why they don't really want him being held that often.  He just needs to rest and build up the energy.  So fingers crossed that he gets bumped up to 5 bottles soon (there's a good chance this will take awhile for him to get used to, since he will have 3 feedings in a row where he has to work for it).  But when we know that he has a tentative discharge date, we will share it with everyone.  It can sometimes get a bit frustrating for us when people ask only because it reminds us that we don't know yet and he's still not home with us. :(

Here's some pictures of our increasingly chunky boy:

Logan's 4th Friday

Today Jesse and I had our last pediatrician interview.  This one was with the first practice I had picked out, back in December when we thought Logan wouldn't be here until March.  I had liked this practice's website, so I was looking forward to it.  I picked Jesse up at work and we drove to the office. Because I had made this appointment while still pregnant, she was surprised that it was no longer a prenatal interview.  We liked the decor of the office and felt like we had a good rapport with the doctor.  On the way home, we started discussing what we liked and didn't like about each practice so we could begin to make a decision.  One thing I feel is important (and Jesse agrees), is comfort level with the doctor.  This is someone I will be asking a lot of questions and from whom I will be seeking advice.  The first doctor and the one from today were the ones with whom I felt most comfortable.  I think we are leaning more towards the doctor from today.  We really got along well with her.  Jesse most of all.  I was really tired and felt like I was about to fall asleep in her office, so I was mostly mute and probably looked uninterested.  But seriously, I was just exhausted.  But yeah, I think that's who we will probably go with, but no official decision yet.

I didn't go to see Logan earlier in the day because of the interview, so I picked Jesse up from work and we headed over to Northside together.  We got there and Jesse held him while I pumped.  Logan is up to 5lbs 9oz, his feedings have increased to 45cc, and he took 2 of his three bottles yesterday (1 feedings was breastfeeding/bottle & he did well with that as I mentioned earlier).  They also have changed his tube feedings.  Instead of him getting the milk over an hour and a half, he now gets it over an hour.  He digested his food well with the shortened time period, which is great!  He did have one apnea episode, but that is much improved from earlier in the week.  I held Logan after I finished pumping, and then he was visited by his Mimi and Pops - or whatever Logan decides to call Jesse's mom & step-dad.

Logan was in for a special treat, today was the first day someone other than us or the nurses were allowed to hold him.  He still can't be held by anyone else if we're not there.  Also, only one person per visit & they have to have their DTaP vaccination (he's in NICU, so not just him, but all of the other babies are vulnerable to illness & pertussis has made a comeback).  But his Mimi was so very happy to be able to hold him for the first time.  As we were getting ready to leave and I was putting Little Man back in his crib to go to bed, I accidentally pulled out his feeding tube.  I was so very scared that this was a bad thing and that it would hurt him.  He scrunched up his nose and looked like he was about to cry.  I kind of yelled for the nurse and let her know about it.  Well, it turns out it wasn't too big of a deal.  I know that other babies have pulled theirs out (and Logan has tried, hence all the tape), but I still felt horrible.  She assured me he really couldn't feel it, and since his next feeding was a bottle, she wasn't going to put it in until his 11:30 feeding.  So we now have a picture of him without his feeding tube.

Tomorrow, I am going to try to get up there around 8:00 so I can try breastfeeding him.  His bottle/breast feedings are his 8:00 & 2:00 feedings (am & pm).  I also have my second shower tomorrow with my girlfriends, so yay for that!  Well, it's bedtime, I have to leave the house around 7:30, that's going to be difficult for me to do.  Wish me luck!

Logan - 3 Weeks Old!

So yesterday Logan turned 3 weeks old!  Yay!!  He celebrated it by weighing 5lbs 8oz and moving up to 4 bottles/breast feedings a day.  What a good little man!

We had a pediatrician interview in the morning.  this one is literally 7 minutes from our house, so that was a big plus for us.  We met with the doctor.  He has experience in the NICU and actually knew some of the doctors up at Northside.  We liked that he had dealt with preemies before, because that's a big requirement for us.  The only thing is that we never really felt comfortable with him, so we have a lot of thinking to do this weekend.

After that Jesse went off to work and I ran to CVS to pick up Claritin for my rash.  As I was leaving the Home Depot Delivery people called and said they would be at our house with the new dryer in the next 30 minutes.  Well, they showed up less than 30 minutes later and efficiently installed our new dryer and removed the old one.  It was early enough I was able to get in 2 loads of laundry before going up to the hospital!  Yay!!

After a short stop at Chick-fil-a, I arrived at the hospital a little before 2:00.  Little Man was sleeping away, so I changed his uneventful diaper and started to wake him up!  I had a lactation consultation at 2:00, so Logan was weighed and placed in my arms for breastfeeding.  Well, like the night before, he latched on great after a few minutes of waking up.  He knew exactly what to do and started eating for about 10-15 minutes straight!  After he was done, he was weighed again and showed he had 8cc of milk.  Yay Little Man!  After that, we gave him a bottle with the rest of the milk he needed in it.  The lactation consultant started him out and he was eating so great, that she kept forcing him to take little breaks so he wouldn't choke himself or stop breathing.  She showed me how to do it and I tried, but I couldn't get him in a godo position and he seemed to be tiring out.  But she took over again and he did great.  Logan and I will just need to practice.  He took about 15cc from that, for a total of 23cc.  He had the rest through his tube - so overall a successful feeding!

After that we just hung out and waited for Jesse to come up.  Jesse got there a little late because traffic was horrible!  Stupid Valentine's Day!  :)  He held our little man for awhile, and then at 6:30 we went down to the 6th floor for dinner and a meeting with other parents of preemies in the NICU.  This is a weekly meeting, but we hadn't been able to make it.  We weren't sure what to expect at all and were a little hesitant.  Well, it turned out to be great.  It's like an AA meeting but for NICU parents.  Everyone shared their stories of pregnancy and labor and how their babies were doing.  There were parents of singletons like us, parents of twins, and one new mom of triplets - and they were conceived naturally with no fertility drugs, etc.!

It was really nice going and hearing what others went through, how their babies are doing and all of the different stages.  I think most of us were on the magnesium sulfate.  A few stayed in the HRP (high risk pregnancy) wing - which is where I would have been moved if Logan had stayed in a little longer.  One stayed in there for 10 weeks.  It's really nice to be amongst people who understand what we're going through.  They understand the frustration of not knowing when our children are coming home, of what it's like to be on the 2nd floor NICU and be jealous of those babies that move to the 7th floor (feeders & growers).  They know what it's like to think "I should still be pregnant." and to almost feel like a part of you is missing when it shouldn't be.  They understand the feelings of envy when we walk out to our car after spending hours in the NICU to see another mother going home with her baby.  Sure, I get to have my body back sooner than I would have, but that's just a consolation prize.  My child is hooked up to monitors and in the NICU.  He's not home with us, so yeah, part of me would still rather be large and pregnant.  But, we have to learn to live with the cards we are dealt.  As one of the dads said, we get to know our little guy 8 weeks earlier than originally planned.  We get to really learn how to take care of him.  We're not just sent home after two days looking at each other going, "What do we do now?"  So we have to find the silver linings to this situation.

After the meeting, we went back upstairs to say goodnight to our little guy and then head home.  Here are our Valentine's Day pictures, including the Valentine made for us by the support staff.

Logan Yesterday & Today

So how is Mr. Logan doing?  Well, he's 35 weeks today!  One more week and we're to the point where I could have gone back to work if I had been on bedrest.  Ha!  Little Man is now up to 5lbs 6.5oz!  He's doing better with the bottles, so they've added another one.  I don't think he's ever finished all of both bottles on the same day, but he's doing well enough they feel confident he can add in another one - that is if he is awake!  He hasn't had any recorded apnea cases (or really bradycardia), so that's good, too!  All in all he is just feeding and growing.

Before heading up to see Logan, I managed to get an appointment with my dermatologist to see about my rash.  Basically, they believe it's an allergic reaction to medicine - most likely the Advil I'd been taking (800mg 3x a day right after I came home, then as needed).  But, because I've been on so many different medicines over the last three weeks, they couldn't say for sure it was the Advil.  It's definitely spread, too - up and down my arms, across my chest, on my stomach, on my lower back and now on my thighs.  Yummy!  Gotta love rashes!  The dermatologist said that it's not contagious, and to use a steroid creme and take one Claritin a day - as long as the neonatologist said I could.  Fortunately, the creme and Claritin are acceptable for Logan, so that's good.

Yesterday I spent most of the day up there.  Jesse was able to spend some time from 2:00-2:30 there as well.  He had a doctor's appointment across the street and was in the area.  I tried nursing Logan at his 2:00 feeding, but he decided to sleep through it, so we snuggled instead.  I can't complain about that!  Around 3:00, he had some VIP visitors:  His Grandpa Wade, Uncle Carson, Cousin Austin & Great-Aunt Lynda.  They got to see him looking even better and bigger - but he did sleep through most of their visit, too.  Silly Little Man!  Jesse came back and hung with his family some.  While he did that I went and visited our friends who just had their little girl.  She is such a beauty!  Maybe one day she will be Logan's girlfriend - hehe!  Regardless, she will definitely be his playmate.

After I returned to Logan's pod, Jesse and his family left to go out to eat while I tried to nurse him.  He latched a little and suckled a little, but that was all.  I held him for awhile before putting him back so I could pump.  When I was done, he had decided to wake up.  He was just looking around and absorbing everything.  I had such a hard time leaving him!  I had Book Club, though, and really wanted to make it since I had missed the last one and we always take a break in December.  So I left and headed to Book Club where I stuffed my face with some delicious chocolate cookies (yum yum!).

Today I didn't go up to the hospital until Jesse got off work.  We had a pediatrician interview around lunchtime.  We have three lined up this week - one today, one tomorrow & one on Friday.  We really liked the office and the pediatrician a lot.  In fact, we liked him so much, we're worried about how we'll make a decision if they are all that great.  Yikes!  It's not that I want one to be awful, but if there can be something we don't like, then that will help.  We have to have one picked out before Logan can come home.  We'll see how tomorrow goes!

I've also been carting back one load of laundry each day to my mom's house to dry.  Even though our dryer broke, I still needed to get laundry done.  It's been building up way too much.  We get our new dryer tomorrow, so that will be great to be able to dry the clothes at home!  I also had to run to the vet to pick up a special shampoo for Yoda.  It turns out he has some fungal infection and needs to be bathed twice a week for at least 4 weeks.  He will be one clean pumpkin!

Jesse and I headed up to Northside when he got off work.  We were running a little behind and I was worried that we would miss his feeding.  Thankfully, the nurse had decided to start his feeding late (she had 4 babies who all were supposed to be fed at the same time - not really possible if more than one needs a bottle).  So Jesse changed Logan's diaper and I settled in to nurse Logan.  The nurse weighed him before hand, just in case he had a good session.  Well, Little Man decided that tonight he was going to nurse well.  After about 5 minutes of trying to decide what he was going to do, he latched on and started suckling.  He was breathing well and swallowing.  I was so proud of him!  He kept eating for about 10 or so minutes straight, maybe a little longer.  When he finally seemed tired out, we weighed him again and he had taken in 10cc!  That's almost a quarter of his regular feedings.  If he can keep this up, we can conquer one feeding with just nursing.  That will make it easier when he gets home.  I'm not really looking forward to having to pump, then bottle feed him every 3 hours.  I know there are other moms out there who have done that.  I can only imagine that takes up pretty much the majority of your time with a newborn.

After I nursed him, I passed him off to Jesse so I could pump.  We just sat quietly in the room for about an hour and Jesse got to snuggle our little man.  We finally put him back and tucked him in.  We stopped by my mom's to get one last load of laundry I hadn't had a chance to pick up and came home.  Next week I hope to concentrate on getting his room set up.  The first thing I have to do, though, is wipe down his walls, and I just haven't been able to get around to doing that.  So... we'll see.  Anyways, here are some pictures of the little guy looking cute as cute can be:

Oh, and thanks Kristi, Wayne & Jake for his Star Wars crib sheet!  Everyone loves it!

Logan Day 19

Well, there really aren't any changes with Logan.  He's gained more weight - now 5lbs 4oz - he's now a pound up from birth weight!  He is still on two bottles - and didn't finish either of them yesterday, so he's going to continue to work on those.  On the downside, he's had more apnea episodes.  :(  He actually had one right when I got there.  His heart rate decreased and he need minor stimulation to get out of it.  They wondered if he had some sort of infection, so they ran some blood work on him.  Poor little man was stuck 3 times in his heels.  He actually slept through most of the sticks.  He sure is a trooper!  Thankfully, the blood work came back negative - so no infections!

I got up to the hospital around 1:45.  I changed his diaper and because he slept through that, the nurse and I decided to let him eat through his feeding tube.  Well, as soon as she left and I was sitting with my little man, he decided to wake up.  He was so cute!  Just looking at me and looking around, absorbing everything!  I read him a French book and sang to get him to go to sleep.  We just sat and rocked for about 45 minutes.  I put him down, though, because I needed to pump.

I continued to hang out with him and talk to the nurse and the nurse practitioner.  It's nice being there during the day and just sitting around.  The nurse talked to me about how to clean out his nose or any spit-up.  I brought up some books, my laptop, Kindle, and graded papers that need to go in the gradebook.  When he woke up and was looking around, I sang to him to get him to sleep (we needed him to be awake for his 5:00 feeding when I nursed him).

Jesse got to the hospital around 5:00.  So he changed Logan's diaper and we prepared to nurse.  He was weighed and then he was given to me.  He latched on, and he got a little milk, but nothing measurable.  It's ok, though, because he was just so cute!  He will catch on eventually.  I don't remember if I already said this, but the nurses said he won't really catch on until around 36 weeks.  Then Jesse got to hold him while I pumped, so they hung out together for a little while.

We left around 7:00 to head home.  It definitely is harder every day to leave him.  We want him home so badly, but not until he's ready.  I'm pretty sure our first night with him we're not going to sleep at all. At the hospital he is monitored constantly, so if something goes wrong, someone is there to figure out how to fix it.  But at home, it's just us - no heart rate monitors, O2 sensors, etc.  Of course, they won't let him come home until they are confident he won't need those, but it will still be scary.  He had a week without apnea episodes and now he's had a bunch in a few days - albeit minor ones.  I definitely wonder what it's like for non-NICU babies and parents.  To be able to go home with your baby after 2 days in the hospital!  I'm not going to lie, we get a little jealous of all of you "normal" moms.  But, we do know, that when Logan does get to come home, it will be a much sweeter homecoming!

On another note, it looks like I have some sort of rash/allergic reaction on my arms & elbows.  I thought it was just winter dry skin, but then noticed that the red spots were raised, and when I looked at my elbow in the mirror, it is surrounded by red angriness.  Now I'm all paranoid and feel like I'm itching all over the place.  Guess I'll be heading to the dermatologist this week - hopefully tomorrow.

Well, I will leave you with some cute pictures of the little man!

Oh, and congrats to some good friends of ours who had their little girl early this morning!  We hope to meet her tomorrow!

Logan Day 18

Well Logan is still gaining weight.  He's up to 5lbs 2oz and his feedings have increased to 41cc.  He took most of his bottles today.  The nurse says that he's not a guzzler or super pro-active on the bottles, but he stays awake the full 30 minutes and drinks at his own pace.  Unfortunately, he had a few minor apnea episodes, so that's a bit of a bummer.  We know that it's normal for a preemie, but it still bums us out because he'd gone a week without one episode.  The nurse practitioner said the bottle feeding is what can lead to these episodes.  It's the whole suck, swallow, breathe thing - sometimes preemies don't always pace themselves well enough and their breathing gets messed up.

Jesse and I went up to see Logan in the early evening.  Whenever I go up, now, Logan and I are going to practice nursing.  Today we were unsuccessful.  He kept falling asleep.  The nurse mentioned that he had been awake for 2 hours after his 2 o'clock feeding.  She said she just loves his facial expressions and how alert he can be.  She told us that he's going to be smart.  He's already flirting.  :)  We just snuggled him for the rest of our visit.  One thing we both hate about the NICU is all of the monitors and alarms and stuff.  Sometimes random alarms go off for Logan.  We have learned to ignore the alarms.  If there's something to be concerned about, then the nurses will be there.  Well, today his O2 alarm kept going off over and over again.  I started getting worried.  Jesse was holding Logan and would try to rearrange him, but that didn't change.  Finally, the nurse came in and mentioned that he may be experiencing some reflux and to hold him up against Jesse's shoulder.  So Logan was rearranged again, and that made all the difference, which helped us breathe a sigh of relief.

Here are some pictures from today:

Logan Day 17

Little Man is still rockin' it!  Today he is up to 5lbs 1oz.  He's been gaining so well that they are going to decrease the amount of calories they add to his milk.  He took his 2nd bottle pretty well - 20cc of the 39cc needed.  Fingers crossed he is able to take 2 bottles by end of day tomorrow and they increase him to 3.

Jesse and I headed up this morning to go visit Logan.  I had a lactation consultation at 11:00 and we needed to be there around 10:45.  We were running a little behind and were rushing out the door (not to mention really tired, too).  Well, we got to the hospital and Jesse was going to drop me off so I could go on up while he parked.  I turned to grab the bag we use to transport my pump parts and realized we had left it at home!  Oops...  But I had to have it.  I had to pump after nursing.  So poor Jesse turned around and went home and back to get the parts.

So I went upstairs and changed Logan's diaper and we prepared for nursing.  I finally have my own nursing pillow - a My Breastfriend (Thanks Tricia & Craig!) - so I got that ready while Logan was weighed.  Then, he settled in my arms and began to nurse.  After about 15 minutes, the lactation consultant weighed him again.  He got about 8cc's of milk - way to go Logan!  She said he probably won't really pick up on nursing until around 36 weeks.  She said that's usually around when everything clicks for them, so right now we'll really just be doing practice, and then finish either with his feeding tube or a bottle.  Well, after the 15 minutes was up, I just snuggled Logan until Jesse returned - so I got to hold him for almost an hour!  Jesse got back to the hospital around noon.  We had an Infant CPR class at 12:30, so I had to hurry up and pump so we could get to the class.  Jesse held Logan while I pumped, and then we put him back and went down one floor to the class.

It turned out that Jesse and I were the only ones signed up for the class, so it was basically a private Infant CPR.  Northside requires parents of NICU babies to take the class before their babies go home, so we decided to go on and take it now.  The class was 2 hours & went over Infant CPR, Infant Heimlich, SIDS & The Period of PURPLE Crying.  These were all great things to learn about, but I couldn't help but feel a little paranoid - I started worrying about situations to use CPR or the Heimlich.  But we are all educated now and hopefully could pull through in a crisis.  I think I would put more faith in Jesse than in me.  I can be the one who calls 911 while he performs the procedures...

Once the class was over, we ate lunch.  I was starving!  Of course, the only place open was McDonald's, so that's where we ate.  Then we headed back upstairs to see our main man and so I could pump again.  Jesse read Dr. Seuss's ABC Book while I pumped.  Then we said good bye to our little guy.  We went to Babies R Us and bought Logan's carseat and pack n play.  This weekend was the end of a 15% off sale - and we had a bunch of giftcards that we decided to use.  Plus, hopefully Logan will need to do his carseat test soon, so we want to be prepared.  After that it was homeward bound.  We were pretty worn out from our day - it was a lot for us.

Jesse has spent the rest of the day working to put the Star Wars room back together.  I went out to dinner with my mom, then came home and ordered a new dryer from Lowe's.  The only problem is that it's not scheduled to be here for two weeks!  I don't know if it had a delivery date when I bought it, but that's too long!  Sure, we can hang some clothes up, but we don't really have anywhere to do that, except on our shower curtain rod.  I think I'm going to call their main customer line tomorrow and see if there's anything they can do to move up the date.  I'm definitely going to play the just-had-a-baby card. I have craploads of laundry that needs to be done!  Plus, we're constantly bringing home Logan's things from the hospital (he pees out of his diaper...  His little manly parts need to be aiming down when he gets his diaper changed, not up.  Oops...).  Well, anyways, here are some new pics of our fast-growing little guy.  Enjoy!  We certainly do.  :)